One mother’s love
Seals’ book details son’s ‘Down, Up’ heroin battle
Brenda Seals recently released “Son Down, Son Up: How One Mother Battled Her Son’s Addiction, Found Hope and Survived,” as a beacon of hope for those dealing with addiction, and said it is a book she certainly could have used herself.
Brenda Seals released “Son Down, Son Up: How One Mother Battled Her Son’s Addiction, Found Hope and Survived,” about a month ago, which details her own struggles as she helplessly watched her son, Matthew, slide further and further into an addition to heroin.
Although Matthew is now 15 years sober with a loving family and successful nursing career, Brenda said she was compelled to share her story to help others.
“I kept looking for that one book that would give me some hope during that time,” she recalled. “But every book I found, either the person was still addicted or they had died.
“God really placed it on my heart to write that book of hope,” Brenda added.
As most parents, Brenda said she never imagined her son would end up with a drug problem.
“To me, he was the ideal child,” she said of Matthew, who graduated from Bearden High School. “He was a good athlete, a good student and was involved in Bible studies and Young Life.
“He was never even late for curfew.”
Even one infraction he did admit — smoking marijuana — was one he freely confessed to his mother and father, Jim, and vowed never to repeat it.
Matthew attended the University of Tennessee after high school, and it was there, unbeknownst to his family, that he began using drugs. One oxycontin offered by a roommate became a years-long addiction that Brenda did not even discover until one day, her bank notified her that her account was overdrawn by $2,000.
“I just couldn’t believe it,” she said. “I just knew the bank had made a mistake.”
Further investigation led to Matthew, whom bank officials said had made the checks out to himself, and forged his mother’s signature.
Even then, while waiting for Matthew to meet with her and discuss the matter, drug use did not enter Brenda’s mind.
“I thought maybe he had a gambling problem, or maybe credit cards,” she said.
In finding out the truth, Brenda came to know he had been battling the disease for over two years.
“When he admitted to me what was going on, he decided to detox, and stayed at our house to do it,” she said. “I thought that was it.”
But within two weeks, Matthew was using again, and Brenda began a year and a half of what she describes as “pure nightmare” as she not only witnessed his drug use, but she also became his enabler.
“I was a huge enabler for him by giving him money,” she said. “I really thought that by keeping him out of jail I was doing him a favor. I thought I was doing the right thing, but it was the worst thing I could have done.”
Brenda said she was so ashamed of the situation that she didn’t share it with anyone. Of course Matthew’s father and two sisters, Courtney and Kimberly, all knew, but she said she finally found some help by attending Celebrate Recovery meetings at Cokesbury United Methodist Church, which she said, “saved my sanity.”
And, through her faith, she said she never did give up hope for Matthew’s own recovery.
“I finally realized I had to stop giving him money,” she said. “One night, I got down on my knees and prayed, and let it go.
“For the first night in a year and a half, I was able to sleep, and the next day I gave Matthew money I had promised him, but told him it was the last time.
“He lasted a week before he decided he was going to rehab.”
Matthew has been clean since that time, and went on to marry his high school sweetheart, Jamie, who stood by him throughout his addiction.
“He is alive and well today through God’s mercy and grace,” Brenda said.
She says she wrestled with writing the book, fearing it would bother Matthew.
“I wondered how he would feel about it, and I wasn’t sure how he would take it, but he said, ‘No, it’s your story,’” Brenda said.
She said it took about nine months to write “Son Down, Son Up,” and since it’s release, she has been featured on a local television station and a local Christian radio program, and is eager to continue sharing her story.
“I just want to get the book out there,” she said. “I believe it can help so many people. If I found hope, everyone else can too.”
The book is available on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble Booksellers, and Brenda may be reached at bgseals@aol.com.
